Following last year’s success of the Rage Against the Machine campaign against the X-Factor, Irish paedophile priests and Gary Glitter have teamed up to see if they can pull off this year’s Christmas Number 1. Poor old Joe McElderry was left crying his eyes out last year when he became the first X-Factor winner...
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Some of you may be too young to remember the days when the words Gary Glitter and paedophile were never uttered in the same sentence. Back in those days the world was a lot more sweet and innocent, paedophilia didn’t even exist in the Catholic Church. In the 70’s Paul Francis Gadd, a.k.a.Gary Glitter,...
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Watching a programme about Live Aid and the famines still plaguing Sub-Sarahan Africa, I had to wonder about ways to solve this terrible dilemma. Long-term, there are always condoms. But in my search for a more immediate solution to the continent’s woes, I drew inspiration from another group in crisis: The Catholic Church. You...
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As the number of people turning their backs on religion increases, the raping paedophiles of the Catholic Church have come up with a genius idea. The genius idea is to change Canon Law and remove any formal defection from their fruity little organisation. What this means is that anyone baptised into the Church will...
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If you haven’t seen Part I then check it out. So where were we? Ah yes, the two most famous virgins in the world are about to give each other plenty. Let’s get straight into the action then… Ah yes, that’s my Benny. He fucked Susan like an old pro and then fobbed her...
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When people think of the dark side of religion, the first things that come to mind are usually Islamic terrorists or paedophile priests. Some people regard western “Crusaders” as the big threat. When someone is invoking the name of their god when they’re screwing you over, you’re not going to be too fond of...
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I’m sure most of you are aware of Ireland’s utterly retarded, backward and embarrassing blasphemy law. According to the Irish Constitution it is unlawful to blaspheme. So to commit blasphemy in Ireland is to break the law and therefore make you a criminal. But what exactly is blasphemy? I’ve looked up a number of...
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So I think most of us can agree that Pope Benedict’s tenure in the Vatican has been about as successful as Wayne Rooney’s tenure at the World Cup. But is Ratzinger really that bad? How does he compare to his illustrious predecessors? Well let’s have a look. Pope John XII I’d take Ratzinger over...
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I heard in the news yesterday that Pope Benedict XVI is to visit Glasgow. I heard from an unnamed source he is going there to buy up a huge stock of heroin but I can’t confirm this. However, it was confirmed that Susan Boyle is to perform for him. Perform what? I hear you...
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Dear Sean, I am writing to you today regarding your position of Archbishop of Armagh and Primate of all Ireland. Please don’t resign. I would love for you to stay and I will outline my reasons in this letter. You see Sean, I’m one of those who realised at a very young age that...
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