Vespasian

Back in 1914 a mother fucker of a fight kicked off thanks to some dude you never heard of, operating for an organisation nobody remembers, killing a guy who’s greatest achievement had been boffing a chick his peers disapproved of.  Yup Gavrillo Princip and a bunch of muppets called the Black Hand really stirred things up. It all...
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Love him or loathe him you gotta admit one thing about Julian Assange and all this Wikileaks business: The guy has balls the size of Outer Mongolia. Like so many others out there I feel compelled to add my voice to that of Wikileaks. For that very reason and at great risk to my...
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Recently while enjoying yet another bout of Shakespearian magnificence I wrote a masterful article about how hard Che Guevara kicked ass. By Jesus I got hundreds of emails from geniuses commending my observational powers. Emails such as: “Dear asshole, You suck and I hope you die. Che wasn’t violent at all, he wanted peaceful...
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Man it’s just like last year. Last year the UK met office proclaimed that because of global warming we’d experience one of the warmest winters ever. What happened? We got the coldest winter in 30 years. What did they Met Office say about that? “The difference between our prediction and what actually happened was...
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Well it turns out that men kick so much ass that the IMF has decided that they need to tax our penises. Seriously the penis tax is cuming, and the bigger your dick the more tax you gotta pay. Well we had a glance round the office, and it looks like the lads at...
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Man I’m well fed up with these bastards. They’re nothing but a shower of self serving gobshites and it’s about time the people of this country stood up and did something about them (blah blah blah – insert some more of the usual rhetoric here). Do all you fuckers walking the streets carrying placards think that by doing...
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Oh shit! Where the fuck did this come from??? According to Wikileaks US President Barack Obama believes that our glorious leader Brian Cowen may in fact be a drunken retard! Forget about all this shite about Iran’s nuclear missiles and Saudi Arabian princes funding terrorism. According to the whistle blower website the biggest threat...
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Well we’ve been thinking about how to sort this country out for a while and short of - Banning the useless bastards in Fianna Fail from ever standing for office again. Providing the limp dicked twats in Fine Gael with cheap Viagra Handing the country back to the queen and apologising for the mess...
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So word on the street is some douche called William is about to get hitched to a hot piece of ass called Kate. Man I was so excited when I heard about this! Hell yeah, now I can finally say the following: Question: What’s the best thing in the Royal Family? Answer: Kate Middleton’s ass...
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It’s been the Fatherland’s plan all along, the military approach didn’t work so now they’re setting about stealthily taking over all of Europe. Ireland and Greece have already fallen under the sway of the axis, Portugal is soon to be annexed and then the Blitzkrieg of Italy and Spain will be launched. Soon only...
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