A couple of days ago Samuel Koch was just a regular German that no one had ever heard of. Right now he’s more famous than Angela Merkel. So who the fuck is this guy and why is he famous?
Well, there’s retards, and then there’s Kochs. Samuel Koch was a contestant in a German TV show called Wetten Dass? (Wanna bet?). The idea is that members of the public take a bet to do some task.
Samuel Koch shitting a brick
Koch thought it would be a good idea to jump over an Audi driven by his father. Looking as nervous as an altar boy about to receive communion from his parish priest, Samuel gave a wave to his father. His father then waved back and drove the Audi across the studio at about 4 miles an hour.
Koch’s secret weapon was a type of shoe that would make him jump like a black man. Unfortunately the shoes didn’t provide the required leverage to get his Aryan ass over the car. The result of this was that he ended up doing a somersault over the car and landed on his chest.
There were gasps of horror from the audience. The presenter of the show made noises that sounded like he was having his balls fondled by some teenage girl who hadn’t a fucking clue what she was doing.
The TV station then decided to show some commercials and decided not to return to the show.
The biggest tragedy of this incident was the fact that Justin Bieber was due to appear on the show but had to cancel. Bieber did what he knows best and took the opportunity to spread his religious bullshit by asking people to pray for Samuel. I was just hoping Koch would be in the hands of some decent doctors and surgeons.
Apparently he’s in a serious condition and it’s not clear what the long term damage will be. Of course, if he’d been killed he’d have won himself a Darwin award.
I hope Samuel will be ok and won’t have any long term injuries. I also hope Justin Bieber realises that God would love nothing more than to watch yet another human being live in pain and misery and all the prayers in the world isn’t worth shit.
Here is the video of Koch
Aw! We got dicked on the Youtubery…
Oh well, I’m sure some other fucker uploaded it. Just type Samuel Koch into youtube.
I bet they wouldn’t have pulled it if he had managed to jump the car safely.