Some of you may not have realised it yet but global warming is dead. Thatâ€™s right, there hasnâ€™t been global warming for the last 12 years. The warmest year on record was 1998 and since then global temperatures have been stagnant. Now bearing that in mind, why do we still have retards like Al Gore preaching to people about how they should live their lives? Well unfortunately with the death of global warming came the birth of something else to take its place.
Hypocritical condescending creeps like Al Gore call it â€˜climate changeâ€™. I prefer to call it â€˜clutching at straws.â€™
For years all we heard coming out of the mouths of Al Gore and his drummer boys was global warming. Yup, apparently we were heading literally for meltdown and Al Gore had the graphs to prove it. And unless we all started cycling everywhere and growing our own vegetables in our back gardens then global warming was going to destroy the planet.
Well that was then and this is now. Global warming has been dead for 12 years but it wasnâ€™t until a few years ago that the penny started to drop. I guess for the first few years after â€™98 the Al Gore brigade figured that the stagnation was a very temporary thing. But as the years have passed, the awful inconvenient truth has emerged. It looks like the planet isnâ€™t heading for meltdown at all, much to the disappointment of many scientists.
In one of the emails that was hacked in the University of East Anglia scandal, some prick called Kevin Trenberth of the US National Center for Atmospheric Research wrote an email in which he states “The fact is that we can’t account for the lack of warming at the moment and it is a travesty that we can’t”.
Yeah itâ€™s an awful pity they canâ€™t explain it alright. This guy is so convinced that humans are causing global warming that any other explanation seems absurd and impossible. This is the kind of brainwashed entrenched bullshit you find in academia. The thought obviously never occurred to him that maybe humans arenâ€™t causing temperatures to rise and that any previous warming was part of a natural cycle. Heâ€™s probably going to need a few million in government money to try and explain the stagnation.
So now all the scientists have to face up to the fact that global temperatures havenâ€™t risen in 12 years. This is despite the fact that more carbon has been emitted into the atmosphere in the last 12 years by humans than any other 12 year period in human history.
And with this revelation has come the painful death of global warming. So now itâ€™s climate change. The term climate change is absolute horseshit. Climate describes the usual weather conditions of places over a substantial period of time. Built into the definition of climate is the fact that climate doesnâ€™t remain the same forever. It changes slowly over time. So adding the word change to climate is surplus to requirements. What the word change does is it instils fear. Most humans fear change and fear has always been a tactic used by people to get what they want from others.
So whatâ€™s the deal with this climate change? Temperatures remain stagnant so what are Al Gore and his loyal fuckhead supporters saying? Well they talk shit about how this stagnation is temporary and temperatures will start to climb again. Wow, these guys are great at predicting things. If you asked them if it will rain next Wednesday they wouldnâ€™t be able to tell you. 12 years ago they predicted that global temperatures would keep rising at an even higher rate than before. Unfortunately for them they got it wrong. But hey, global warming wasnâ€™t that great anyway. Now they have climate change where they can talk similar bullshit and still fool the politicians into giving them money for bullshit research.
I wonder what would happen if temperatures started to fall. Well for the scientists it would mean trying to argue that all the carbon emissions have triggered off some previously unknown phenomenon that causes global cooling. As long as they can link it to us bastard humans and prove they need money to research it then theyâ€™ll spin whatever fairytale they can.
In the meantime I will drive my car as much as I can and emit as much carbon as I fucking want. This winter I also plan to burn as much coal as possible. If every room in the house isnâ€™t at least 27 degrees then Iâ€™ll be throwing more coal into the fire. Iâ€™ll also cut down a few trees and burn those too. If you thought global warming was bad then try global cooling. For northern Europeans it means extinction. The longer we can hold off the next Ice Age the better.
For those of you who are still in denial I found an obituary notice for global warming in my local newspaper.
Global Warming â€“ c. 1960 â€“ 1998
The untimely death of Mr. Global Warming occurred in 1998. The rotting corpse wasnâ€™t discovered until a few years ago.
Global Warming is survived by his loving, loyal submissive wife Al Gore, his insecure mistress Eamon Ryan, thousands of brain washed entrenched academics and millions of tree hugging assholes.
The funeral will take place as soon as all these other assholes die and the rest of the world realise that global warming is actually dead. No flowers please, as this is bad for the planet. Donations if desired may be sent to the University of East Anglia Environmental Science Department.