The useless incompetent dossing 163 TDs are back in the Dail today and someone has decided a 164th member is needed. Now I donâ€™t blame the guy. There are 3 bi-elections due and the government are hanging on by a thread.
The official news is that a 41 year old man tried to drive a cement truck through the gates of Leinster House. Written on the side of the drum are the words ‘Anglo Toxic Bank’. Now on the face of it this story makes sense. Some Irish guy is fed up and pissed off with the whole Anglo thing and is repulsed at the thought that billions of our taxes are being flushed down the toilet. So he drives a truck into the Dail.
But I wonder if thereâ€™s more to this than meets the eye. When I saw the image of a truck at the gates I immediately recalled another story from about a week ago. Does anyone remember a decrepit drunken old fuck at Leinster House? No, not Brian Cowen, PJ fucking Sheehan.
Now I donâ€™t believe that aliens have landed on this planet, nor do I believe the moon landing was fake, but you gotta admit that it does seem a bit coincidental that we have two major driving incidents at Leinster House.
So what the hell is really going on here? No doubt weâ€™ll never know the truth and the Irish government will cover up this almighty conspiracy but this is the true storyâ€¦
The driver of the truck was none other than PJ Sheehan. Yup PJ was pissed off his tits as he entered his first day of the Dail. He was so fucking drunk he couldnâ€™t navigate the truck through the gates. And he was so drunk he cut all the cables and managed to block the whole entrance and create this almighty scene.
Now as you know, PJ is a member of those impotent shower of losers Fine Gael. But this conspiracy stretches across both sides of the Dail chamber. Some of you may be wondering if there was cement in the drum. Well people, this is where the conspiracy kicks in. I can tell you there was no cement in that truck. So what was in it then?
Well folks, the truck contained many tonnes of alcohol. Yup, PJ Sheehan took it upon himself to supply the Dail bar with copious amounts of alcohol. A whole cement truck full of booze no less. Christ almighty, thatâ€™s enough to supply all those drunken politicians for an entire week.
Itâ€™s no wonder Enda Kenny told the sergeant to ignore Sheehan. With Sheehan thrown out then who would supply the Dail bar? Cowen canâ€™t do it. Heâ€™s too busy plucking 300,000 jobs out of his arse. And Enda Kenny is too busy flying back and forth to the UK stocking up on cheap Viagra. Yeah itâ€™s definitely a job for a 77 year old sad drunken fuck to do the dirty work. And fair play to him, heâ€™s been doing it for years.
Still, you have to feel sorry for the 41 year old scapegoat down in the nick at the moment. It hasnâ€™t been revealed yet what his name is but I can give you the heads up on that. His name is Lee Harvey Oswald. The poor guy was in the Dublin School Book Depository this morning just minding his own business and now heâ€™s the main suspect in Leinster House Gategate. And that bastard Sheehan gets away with again, the thick ignorant Cork cunt.